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I'm a newbe myself, and I'm also still trying to get all the little stuff like this figured out, but by my experience, the people here arnt to interested in helping us get our wheels turning.
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I don't have the time right now to really sit down and go through the links you gave us, but they do look to be very useful.
Unix helps those that help themselves. You will not learn a darn thing if you want step by step instructions on how to do everything. Learn to love the man pages. The OPs questions would have been answered if he had bothered to read the man page, even after it was suggested. On an OpenBSD box, I found the answer to both of his questions within seconds while reading the man page. Once you get stuck again, then please, by all means, ask for help. But don't refuse to take any initiative in the problem solving while hoping for a turnkey answer.
Now, for the OP, what you need to do is type "man ftpd". Read it. Find the answer to your questions. Then, use a text editor to edit /etc/inetd.conf to change the command-line options to ftpd to the ones you want. Edit any other files you need to (for example, of you choose to allow root logins via ftp, which really isn't a great idea), then restart inetd like this:
type "ps -ax" to get a process listing. Look for the word "inetd" in the right column. Now, make note of the number in the left column of the row that inetd is shown in. This number is the PID, or Process ID. Now type "kill -1 (pid number here)". Now test it out.
Please post back if you have any specific questions.