It's not as bad as it sounds, honest!
Just open up a terminal window - how you do this depends on which Operating System you are using. Is it Linux (RedHat, SUSE, Mandrake, Slackware, Debian, etc), FreeBSD, OpenBSD, NetBSD, OS X, Solaris, HP-UX, AIX, etc - which "flavour" of Unix are you using?
You're looking for something called "xterm" - this is a popular terminal emulator (think of the Windows cmd.exe command shell). If you're using SUSE Linux for example, you'll already have a taskbar shortcut to "Konsole" - this is the SUSE terminal emulator.
Once you've got a terminal window open, you should (depending on your OS, shell, etc - don't worry for now) - see a command prompt - probably a dollar ($) or maybe your username, hostname or other information followed by a dollar.
At this prompt, type in
uname -a
This will post your OS version, plus a lot of other useful information - let us know what this command outputs.
After this, try
ps -ef | egrep 'cupsd|lpd'
Don't worry too much about what the command does for now - post the output and we can see which printing subsystem you're using.
Then, at the prompt (if your printer is connected to the parallel port on the back of your laptop/desktop) type
ls > /dev/lp0
the printer should whirr into life and spit out a listing. Let us know if it does just that.
I know it can all be a bit daunting, but stick with it - you'll be pleased you did in the long run
Cheers
ZB