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Full Discussion: Funny Quotes-UNIX
The Lounge What is on Your Mind? Funny Quotes-UNIX Post 302244844 by bakunin on Wednesday 8th of October 2008 06:03:14 PM
Old 10-08-2008
Reminds me on this one (from here and probably a gazillion of other sites):


Need a little UNIX help?

Customer: What is the command that will tell me the revision code of a program ?

UNIX consul: Yes, that's correct.

Customer: No, what is it ?

UNIX consul: Yes.

Customer: So, which is the one ?

UNIX consul: No. 'which' is used to find the program.

Customer: Stop this. Who are you ?

UNIX consul: Use 'who am i' not 'who r yoo'. You can also 'finger yoo' to get information about yoo'.

Customer: All I want to know is what finds the revision code ?

UNIX consul: Use 'what'.

Customer: That's what I am trying to find out. Isn't that true ?

UNIX consul: No. 'true' gives you 0.

Customer: Which one ?

UNIX consul: 'true' gives you 0. 'which programname'

Customer: Let's get back to my problem. What program? How do I find it?

UNIX consul: Type 'find / -name it -print' to find 'it'. Type 'what program' to get the revision code.

Customer: I want to find the revision code.

UNIX consul: You can't 'find revisioncode', you must use 'what program'

Customer: Which command will do what I need?

UNIX consul: No. 'which command' will find 'command'.

Customer: I think I understand. Let me write that.

UNIX consul: You can 'write that' only if 'that' is a user on your system.

Customer: Write what?

UNIX consul: No. 'write that'. 'what program'.

Customer: Cut that out!

UNIX consul: Yes. those are valid files for 'cut'. Don't forget the options.

Customer: Do you always do this ?

UNIX consul: 'du' will give you disk usage.

Customer: HELP!

UNIX consul: 'help' is only used for Source Code Control System (SCCS).

Customer: You make me angry.

UNIX consul: No, I don't 'make me' angry but I did 'make programname' when I was upset once.

Customer: I don't want to make trouble, so no more.

UNIX consul: No 'more'? 'which' will help you find 'more'. Every system has 'more'.

Customer: Nice help! I'm confused more now!

UNIX consul: Understand that since 'help' is such a small program, it is better not to 'nice help'. and 'more now' is not allowed but 'at now' is. Unless, of course, 'now' is a file name.

Customer: This is almost as confusing as my PC.

UNIX consul: I didn't know you needed help with 'pc'. Let me get you to the Pascal Compiler team.
 

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aliased(3pm)						User Contributed Perl Documentation					      aliased(3pm)

NAME
aliased - Use shorter versions of class names. VERSION
0.30 SYNOPSIS
# Class name interface use aliased 'My::Company::Namespace::Customer'; my $cust = Customer->new; use aliased 'My::Company::Namespace::Preferred::Customer' => 'Preferred'; my $pref = Preferred->new; # Variable interface use aliased; my $Customer = alias "My::Other::Namespace::Customer"; my $cust = $Customer->new; my $Preferred = alias "My::Other::Namespace::Preferred::Customer"; my $pref = $Preferred->new; DESCRIPTION
"aliased" is simple in concept but is a rather handy module. It loads the class you specify and exports into your namespace a subroutine that returns the class name. You can explicitly alias the class to another name or, if you prefer, you can do so implicitly. In the latter case, the name of the subroutine is the last part of the class name. Thus, it does something similar to the following: #use aliased 'Some::Annoyingly::Long::Module::Name::Customer'; use Some::Annoyingly::Long::Module::Name::Customer; sub Customer { return 'Some::Annoyingly::Long::Module::Name::Customer'; } my $cust = Customer->new; This module is useful if you prefer a shorter name for a class. It's also handy if a class has been renamed. (Some may object to the term "aliasing" because we're not aliasing one namespace to another, but it's a handy term. Just keep in mind that this is done with a subroutine and not with typeglobs and weird namespace munging.) Note that this is only for "use"ing OO modules. You cannot use this to load procedural modules. See the Why OO Only? section. Also, don't let the version number fool you. This code is ridiculously simple and is just fine for most use. Implicit Aliasing The most common use of this module is: use aliased 'Some::Module::name'; "aliased" will allow you to reference the class by the last part of the class name. Thus, "Really::Long::Name" becomes "Name". It does this by exporting a subroutine into your namespace with the same name as the aliased name. This subroutine returns the original class name. For example: use aliased "Acme::Company::Customer"; my $cust = Customer->find($id); Note that any class method can be called on the shorter version of the class name, not just the constructor. Explicit Aliasing Sometimes two class names can cause a conflict (they both end with "Customer" for example), or you already have a subroutine with the same name as the aliased name. In that case, you can make an explicit alias by stating the name you wish to alias to: use aliased 'Original::Module::Name' => 'NewName'; Here's how we use "aliased" to avoid conflicts: use aliased "Really::Long::Name"; use aliased "Another::Really::Long::Name" => "Aname"; my $name = Name->new; my $aname = Aname->new; You can even alias to a different package: use aliased "Another::Really::Long::Name" => "Another::Name"; my $aname = Another::Name->new; Messing around with different namespaces is a really bad idea and you probably don't want to do this. However, it might prove handy if the module you are using has been renamed. If the interface has not changed, this allows you to use the new module by only changing one line of code. use aliased "New::Module::Name" => "Old::Module::Name"; my $thing = Old::Module::Name->new; Import Lists Sometimes, even with an OO module, you need to specify extra arguments when using the module. When this happens, simply use "Explicit Aliasing" followed by the import list: Snippet 1: use Some::Module::Name qw/foo bar/; my $o = Some::Module::Name->some_class_method; Snippet 2 (equivalent to snippet 1): use aliased 'Some::Module::Name' => 'Name', qw/foo bar/; my $o = Name->some_class_method; Note: remember, you cannot use import lists with "Implicit Aliasing". As a result, you may simply prefer to only use "Explicit Aliasing" as a matter of style. alias() my $alias = alias($class); my $alias = alias($class, @imports); alias() is an alternative to "use aliased ..." which uses less magic and avoids some of the ambiguities. Like "use aliased" it "use"s the $class (pass in @imports, if given) but instead of providing an "Alias" constant it simply returns a scalar set to the $class name. my $thing = alias("Some::Thing::With::A::Long::Name"); # Just like Some::Thing::With::A::Long::Name->method $thing->method; The use of a scalar instead of a constant avoids any possible ambiguity when aliasing two similar names: # No ambiguity despite the fact that they both end with "Name" my $thing = alias("Some::Thing::With::A::Long::Name"); my $other = alias("Some::Other::Thing::With::A::Long::Name"); and there is no magic constant exported into your namespace. The only caveat is loading of the $class happens at run time. If $class exports anything you might want to ensure it is loaded at compile time with: my $thing; BEGIN { $thing = alias("Some::Thing"); } However, since OO classes rarely export this should not be necessary. Why OO Only? Some people have asked why this code only support object-oriented modules (OO). If I were to support normal subroutines, I would have to allow the following syntax: use aliased 'Some::Really::Long::Module::Name'; my $data = Name::data(); That causes a serious problem. The only (reasonable) way it can be done is to handle the aliasing via typeglobs. Thus, instead of a subroutine that provides the class name, we alias one package to another (as the namespace module does.) However, we really don't want to simply alias one package to another and wipe out namespaces willy-nilly. By merely exporting a single subroutine to a namespace, we minimize the issue. Fortunately, this doesn't seem to be that much of a problem. Non-OO modules generally support exporting of the functions you need and this eliminates the need for a module such as this. EXPORT
This modules exports a subroutine with the same name as the "aliased" name. BUGS
There are no known bugs in this module, but feel free to email me reports. SEE ALSO
The namespace module. THANKS
Many thanks to Rentrak, Inc. (http://www.rentrak.com/) for graciously allowing me to replicate the functionality of some of their internal code. AUTHOR
Curtis Poe, "ovid [at] cpan [dot] org" COPYRIGHT AND LICENSE
Copyright (C) 2005 by Curtis "Ovid" Poe This library is free software; you can redistribute it and/or modify it under the same terms as Perl itself, either Perl version 5.8.5 or, at your option, any later version of Perl 5 you may have available. perl v5.10.0 2009-08-05 aliased(3pm)
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