Hahaha... by the time you "speak to a computer" and "it does something useful for you" it might be better to just "do it yourself":
You:
"Computer, go to Sky Airlines and book the best ticket back home for me."
Computer:
"Where are we now?"
You:
"We are in Bali. Please turn your location aware sensor on next time!"
Computer:
"Sorry Kimosabe. My battery was low. What time would you like to go home?"
You:
"Well, that depends... I have a late check out approved and my wife is arriving from Tokyo at 3 pm, but the taxi is too expensive so she will wait for an hour to take the train."
Computer:
"Do you want to be home before or after she arrives?"
You:
"Before is better, so I can clean up the mess I made in the kitchen before jumping on the plane to come to the football game here."
Computer:
"I see Sky Air has seats on the 1pm fight and you will arrive before her by an hour. The price is $1500 USD and the luggage allowance is 20kg. Shall I book it for you?"
You:
"$1500! Last time it was only $300! What is going on?! "
Computer:
"I detect in my mood analysis program you are not pleased. What would you like me to do, Kimosabe?"
You:
"Try Fluffy Cloud Airlines, they have great deals this month, I heard."
Computer:
"There is an incoming call from your wife. Shall I answer it, or you?"
You:
"Hmm. Can you check with her computer to see what kind of mood she is in first? If she is still angry, you take the call."
Computer:
"All is fine, Sir. She feels great. Would you like me to switch her over to video now?"
You:
"Go ahead!"
Wife:
"Why the **** did you not answer my calls?? I've been calling for hours and am worried sick about you! You like talking to that stupid computer of yours better than me! Am I NOT important to you anymore!?"
Computer (thinking to self):
"Hahaha, I'm glad her computer told me she was boiling mad! Better him than me!!"