Found the problem.
cable had to be a cross connect. Apparently connecting a switch to switch
will cause this, so I just connected directly to router.
Found out when both sides took off auto and put duplex full and speed 100.
It did not connect. So having auto really was the problem.
Also found some errors in duplicate ARP broadcasts in the process, that I fixed.
Thanks for leading me in right direction.
I also found a great tool for snooping on network, besides brain 1.0.