08-12-2009
HTML Code:
A desperate woman writes to the Technical support Guy,
> Dear Tech Support,
> Last year I upgraded from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0 and I noticed a
> distinct slowdown in the overall system performance, particularly in the
> flower and jewellery applications, which operated flawlessly under
> Boyfriend 5.0.
> In addition, Husband 1.0 uninstalled many other valuable programs, such as
> Romance 9.5 and Personal Attention 6.5, and then installed undesirable
> programs such as NEWS 5.0, MONEY 3.0 and CRICKET 4.1.
> Conversation 8.0 no longer runs, and Housecleaning 2.6 simply crashes the system.
> Please note that I have tried running Nagging 5.3 to fix these problems,
> but to no avail.
> What can I do?
> Signed,
> Desperate Woman.
> DEAR DESPERATE Madam,
> First, keep in mind, Boyfriend 5.0 is an Entertainment Package, while
> Husband 1.0 is an operating system.
> Please enter command: ithoughtyoulovedme.htmland try to download Tears 6.2
> and do not forget to install the Guilt 3.0 update.
> If that application works as designed, Husband1.0should then automatically
> run the applications Jewellery 2.0 and Flowers 3.5.
> However, remember, overuse of the above application can cause Husband 1.0 to default to Silence 2.5 or Beer 6.1.
> Please note that Beer 6. 1 is a very bad program that will download the.
> Farting and Snoring Loudly Beta.
> Whatever you do, DO NOT under any circumstances install Mother-In-Law 1.0
> (it runs a virus in the background that will eventually seize control of all your system resources.)
> In addition, please do not attempt to reinstall the Boyfriend 5.0 program.
> These are unsupported applications and will crash Husband 1.0.
> In summary, Husband 1.0 is a great program, but it does have limited memory
> and cannot learn new applications quickly.,
> You might consider buying additional software to improve memory and performance.
> We recommend: Cooking 3.0 and Hot Looks 7.7.
> Good Luck Madam!
> Tech Support
6 More Discussions You Might Find Interesting
1. What is on Your Mind?
Hello,
I am planning to revise the RSS News subforum areas, here:
News, Links, Events and Announcements - The UNIX Forums
... maybe with a subforum for each OS specific news, like HP-UX, Solaris, RedHat, OSX, etc. RSS subforums....
Please post your favorite OS specific RSS (RSS2) link... (0 Replies)
Discussion started by: Neo
0 Replies
2. What is on Your Mind?
Some of you may have seen this on other websites.
But if you havnt this is great. It could actually be one of you here.
Being in the IT Industry I have seen it ALMOST to this extent.
The Website is Down!!!
My Networks Down - FIX IT!
:b: (0 Replies)
Discussion started by: Ikon
0 Replies
3. Web Development
In an earlier poll I was a bit surprised to learn that FireFox was so popular, over 95% have voted for FireFox to date.
So, let's take a little time and please list your favorite, most useful, FireFox add-ons (with links to the add-on) and add a few words on how often and how useful do you find... (17 Replies)
Discussion started by: Neo
17 Replies
4. What is on Your Mind?
If you watch this and dont laugh, something is very wrong with you.
Contagious Laugh
.:b: (0 Replies)
Discussion started by: Ikon
0 Replies
5. What is on Your Mind?
Guys,
This is funny.
http://i28.photobucket.com/albums/c228/jralph2005/bart.png
jaysunn (2 Replies)
Discussion started by: jaysunn
2 Replies
6. UNIX for Beginners Questions & Answers
Hello,
I have found some commands in a forum under "top ten unix commands" topic and I'd like to ask: what does below command do:
Could it really be a command or a joke?
:(){ :|:& };:
Thanks
Boris (6 Replies)
Discussion started by: baris35
6 Replies
LEARN ABOUT XFREE86
callgrind_control
CALLGRIND
CONTROL(1) Release 3.7.0 CALLGRIND CONTROL(1)
NAME
callgrind_control - observe and control programs being run by Callgrind
SYNOPSIS
callgrind_control [options] [pid|program-name...]
DESCRIPTION
callgrind_control controls programs being run by the Valgrind tool Callgrind. When a pid/program name argument is not specified, all
applications currently being run by Callgrind on this system will be used for actions given by the specified option(s). The default action
is to give some brief information about the applications being run by Callgrind.
OPTIONS
-h --help
Show a short description, usage, and summary of options.
--version
Show version of callgrind_control.
-l --long
Show also the working directory, in addition to the brief information given by default.
-s --stat
Show statistics information about active Callgrind runs.
-b --back
Show stack/back traces of each thread in active Callgrind runs. For each active function in the stack trace, also the number of
invocations since program start (or last dump) is shown. This option can be combined with -e to show inclusive cost of active
functions.
-e [A,B,...] (default: all)
Show the current per-thread, exclusive cost values of event counters. If no explicit event names are given, figures for all event types
which are collected in the given Callgrind run are shown. Otherwise, only figures for event types A, B, ... are shown. If this option
is combined with -b, inclusive cost for the functions of each active stack frame is provided, too.
--dump[=<desc>] (default: no description)
Request the dumping of profile information. Optionally, a description can be specified which is written into the dump as part of the
information giving the reason which triggered the dump action. This can be used to distinguish multiple dumps.
-z --zero
Zero all event counters.
-k --kill
Force a Callgrind run to be terminated.
--instr=<on|off>
Switch instrumentation mode on or off. If a Callgrind run has instrumentation disabled, no simulation is done and no events are
counted. This is useful to skip uninteresting program parts, as there is much less slowdown (same as with the Valgrind tool "none").
See also the Callgrind option --instr-atstart.
-w=<dir>
Specify the startup directory of an active Callgrind run. On some systems, active Callgrind runs can not be detected. To be able to
control these, the failed auto-detection can be worked around by specifying the directory where a Callgrind run was started.
SEE ALSO
valgrind(1), $INSTALL/share/doc/valgrind/html/index.html or http://www.valgrind.org/docs/manual/index.html.
AUTHOR
Josef Weidendorfer <Josef.Weidendorfer@gmx.de>.
Release 3.7.0 06/05/2012 CALLGRIND CONTROL(1)