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The Lounge What is on Your Mind? Post Your Favorite Joke! Laugh a Little! Post 302343285 by malcomex999 on Wednesday 12th of August 2009 05:32:54 AM

08-12-2009

Registered User

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A desperate woman writes to the Technical support Guy, 
 
> Dear Tech Support, 
> Last year I upgraded from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0 and I noticed a 
> distinct slowdown in the overall system performance, particularly in the 
> flower and jewellery applications, which operated flawlessly under 
> Boyfriend 5.0. 
> In addition, Husband 1.0 uninstalled many other valuable programs, such as 
> Romance 9.5 and Personal Attention 6.5, and then installed undesirable 
> programs such as  NEWS 5.0,   MONEY 3.0  and CRICKET 4.1. 
> Conversation 8.0 no longer runs, and Housecleaning 2.6 simply crashes the system. 
> Please note that I have tried running Nagging 5.3 to fix these problems, 
> but to no avail. 
> What can I do? 
 
> Signed, 
> Desperate Woman. 
 
 
 
> DEAR DESPERATE Madam, 
 
> First, keep in mind, Boyfriend 5.0 is an Entertainment Package, while 
> Husband 1.0 is an operating system. 
> Please enter command: ithoughtyoulovedme.htmland try to download Tears 6.2 
> and do not forget to install the Guilt 3.0 update. 
> If that application works as designed, Husband1.0should then automatically 
> run the applications Jewellery 2.0 and Flowers 3.5. 
> However, remember, overuse of the above application can cause Husband 1.0 to default to Silence 2.5 or Beer 6.1. 
> Please note that Beer 6. 1 is a very bad program that will download the. 
> Farting and Snoring Loudly Beta. 
> Whatever you do, DO NOT under any circumstances install Mother-In-Law 1.0 
> (it runs a virus in the background that will eventually seize control of all your system resources.) 
> In addition, please do not attempt to reinstall the Boyfriend 5.0 program. 
> These are unsupported applications and will crash Husband 1.0. 
> In summary, Husband 1.0 is a great program, but it does have limited memory 
> and cannot learn new applications quickly., 
> You might consider buying additional software to improve memory and performance. 
> We recommend:  Cooking 3.0 and  Hot Looks 7.7. 
 
 
> Good Luck Madam! 
> Tech Support

malcomex999

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LEARN ABOUT DEBIAN

ktoblzcheck

KTOBLZCHECK(1)						      General Commands Manual						    KTOBLZCHECK(1)

NAME

       ktoblzcheck - Check Account and BLZ (bank routing code)

SYNOPSIS

       ktoblzcheck [--returncode] [--file=<datafile>] <bank-id> <account-id>

DESCRIPTION

       This manual page documents briefly the ktoblzcheck application.

       ktoblzcheck  is	a program that will check a given account and blz for the bank being valid and the account being valid using some checksum
       calculations, if supported for that particular bank. The output is the clear-text name of the bank specified by <bank-id>, and whether  the
       given <account-id> is a valid account number at this bank.

OPTIONS

       <bank-id>
	      This is the Bankleitzahl (bank routing id), actually it is the account-id of that particular bank at the Deutsche Bundesbank.

       <account-id>
	      This  is the account number you wish to verify. If the checksum method of the bank specified by the <bank-id> is supported, you will
	      get the account-id verified, i.e. if it is a valid account-id at that particular bank.

       --returncode
	      If given, the result is returned via the returncode and no output on the	terminal.  The	following  returncodes	are  possible:	0:
	      account and bank are ok 1: unknown, e.g. checksum not implemented or such 2: account and/or bank not ok 3: bank not found

       --file=<datafile>
	      Specifies the file with the bankdata. This file can be obtained via the internet from the Deutsche Bundesbank on address
	      http://www.bundesbank.de/zahlungsverkehr/zahlungsverkehr_bankleitzahlen_download.php
	      Beware! This page is in German only.

BUGS

       No  bugs  are  known  at  this  time.  Only certain checksum algorythms are supported as of now, so please don't complain if you always get
       "unknown" as return value.

AUTHOR

       This manual page was written by Jens Gecius <jens@gecius.de> for the Debian GNU/Linux system. Authors  of  ktoblzcheck  are  Fabian  Kaiser
       <fabian@openhbci.de> and Christian Stimming <stimming@tuhh.de>.

								  August 3, 2003						    KTOBLZCHECK(1)