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The Lounge What is on Your Mind? Post Your Favorite Joke! Laugh a Little! Post 302307969 by Neo on Thursday 16th of April 2009 05:51:07 PM
Old 04-16-2009
One of our forum members married a woman who had previously divorced ten husbands.

On their wedding night, she told her new husband, "Please be gentle, I'm still a virgin."

"What?" said the puzzled groom.

"How can that be if you've been married ten times?"

"Well, Husband #1 was a sales representative: he kept telling me how great it was going to be.

Husband #2 was in software services: he was never really sure how it was supposed to function, but he said he'd look into it and get back to me.

Husband #3 was from field services: he said everything checked out diagnostically but he just couldn't get the system up.

Husband #4 was in telemarketing: even though he knew he had the order, he didn't know when he would be able to deliver.

Husband #5 was an engineer: he understood the basic process but wanted three years to research, implement, and design a new state-of-the-art method.

Husband #6 was from finance and administration: he thought he knew how, but he wasn't sure whether it was his job or not.

Husband #7 was in marketing: although he had a nice product, he was never sure how to position it.

Husband #8 was a psychologist: all he ever did was talk about it.

Husband #9 was a gynecologist: all he did was look at it.

Husband #10 was a stamp collector: all he ever did was... God! I miss him! But now that I've married you, I'm really excited!"

"Good," said the new husband, "but, why?"

"You're a Moderator at UNIX.COM. This time I know I'm gonna get screwed!"
 

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OFXCONNECT(1)							   User Commands						     OFXCONNECT(1)

NAME
ofxconnect - Create a statement request file SYNOPSIS
ofxconnect [OPTIONS]... [FILES]... DESCRIPTION
ofxconnect 0.9.4 prints to stdout the created OFX file based on the options you pass it. currently it will only create a statement request file. you can POST this to an OFX server to request a statement from that financial institution for that account. -h, --help Print help and exit -V, --version Print version and exit --fipid=STRING FI partner identifier (looks up fid, org & url from partner server) --fid=STRING FI identifier --org=STRING FI org tag --bank=STRING IBAN bank identifier --broker=STRING Broker identifier --user=STRING User name --pass=STRING Password --acct=STRING Account ID --type=INT Account Type 1=checking 2=invest 3=ccard --past=LONG How far back to look from today (in days) --url=STRING Url to POST the data to (otherwise goes to stdout) --trid=INT Transaction id Group: command -s, --statement-req Request for a statement -a, --accountinfo-req Request for a list of accounts -p, --payment-req Request to make a payment -i, --paymentinquiry-req Request to inquire about the status of a payment -b, --bank-list List all known banks -f, --bank-fipid List all fipids for a given bank -v, --bank-services List supported services for a given fipid --allsupport List all banks which support online banking ofxconnect 0.9.4 May 2012 OFXCONNECT(1)
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