04-06-2009
Not a joke per se, but nice bit of geek humor (I'm pretty sure everyone's read this, but here goes).
How to Shoot Yourself In the Foot:
C
You shoot yourself in the foot.
C++
You accidently create a dozen instances of yourself and shoot them all in the foot. Providing emergency medical assistance is impossible since you can't tell which are bitwise copies and which are just pointing at others and saying "That's me, over there."
FORTRAN
You shoot yourself in each toe, iteratively, until you run out of toes, then you read in the next foot and repeat. If you run out of bullets, you continue anyway because you have no exception-handling facility.
Modula-2
After realizing that you can't actually accomplish anything in this language, you shoot yourself in the head.
COBOL
USEing a COLT 45 HANDGUN, AIM gun at LEG.FOOT, THEN place ARM.HAND.FINGER on HANDGUN.TRIGGER and SQUEEZE. THEN return HANDGUN to HOLSTER. CHECK whether shoelace needs to be retied.
PERL
You stab yourself in the foot repeatedly with an incredibly large and very heavy Swiss Army knife.
Assembly Language
You crash the OS and overwrite the root disk. The system administrator arrives and shoots you in the foot. After a moment of contemplation, the administrator shoots himself in the foot and then hops around the room rabidly shooting at everyone in sight.
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LEARN ABOUT DEBIAN
dirvish-locate
DIRVISH-LOCATE(1) General Commands Manual DIRVISH-LOCATE(1)
NAME
dirvish-locate - locate file versions in dirvish images
SYNOPSIS
dirvish-locate vault[:branch] pattern
DESCRIPTION
Locate versions of files in a dirvish vault
The index of each image specified vault is searched for paths matching pattern. Each path found matching the pattern will be reported fol-
lowed by a modification time of each version of the file and all images having a link to it.
The optional branch specification will restrict searching to the specified branch.
Images with an error status will be skipped as will any without index files. The index file may be compressed by gzip or bzip2. See tree
and index in dirvish.conf(5) for details.
The pattern is a perl regular expression to match the final component of the path. Append .* to the end of the pattern if you wish to
match any substring of the whole path or $ if you wish to anchor the pattern to the end of the path. See perlre(1) for details.
Directories are excluded from matching as they would wind up matching every file within them anyway. Symlinks are also excluded from
matching.
If the pattern matches too many paths dirvish-locate will only report the paths matched and not versions. As a sanity check if the number
of matches is really excessive dirvish-locate will limit the number of images searched. Excessive matches is an indication of an insuffi-
ciently specific pattern. Use the resulting path list to compose a more specific one.
EXIT CODES
To facilitate further automation and integration of dirvish-locate with other tools dirvish-locate provides rationalised exit codes. The
exit codes are range based. While the code for a specific error may change from one version to another it will remain within the specified
range. So don't test for specific exit codes but instead test for a range of values. To the degree possible higher value ranges indicate
more severe errors.
0 success 200-219 An error was encountered in loading a configuration file.
220-254
An error was detected in the configuration.
255 Incorrect usage.
FILES
/etc/dirvish/master.conf
alternate master configuration file.
/etc/dirvish.conf
master configuration file.
bank/vault/image/summary
image creation summary.
bank/vault/image/index
bank/vault/image/index.gz
bank/vault/image/index.bz2
dirvish index file.
SEE ALSO
dirvish.conf(5)
BUGS
DIRVISH-LOCATE(1)