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The Lounge What is on Your Mind? Post Your Favorite Joke! Laugh a Little! Post 302304258 by blowtorch on Monday 6th of April 2009 02:07:33 AM
Old 04-06-2009
Not a joke per se, but nice bit of geek humor (I'm pretty sure everyone's read this, but here goes).

How to Shoot Yourself In the Foot:

C
You shoot yourself in the foot.
C++
You accidently create a dozen instances of yourself and shoot them all in the foot. Providing emergency medical assistance is impossible since you can't tell which are bitwise copies and which are just pointing at others and saying "That's me, over there."
FORTRAN
You shoot yourself in each toe, iteratively, until you run out of toes, then you read in the next foot and repeat. If you run out of bullets, you continue anyway because you have no exception-handling facility.
Modula-2
After realizing that you can't actually accomplish anything in this language, you shoot yourself in the head.

COBOL
USEing a COLT 45 HANDGUN, AIM gun at LEG.FOOT, THEN place ARM.HAND.FINGER on HANDGUN.TRIGGER and SQUEEZE. THEN return HANDGUN to HOLSTER. CHECK whether shoelace needs to be retied.

PERL
You stab yourself in the foot repeatedly with an incredibly large and very heavy Swiss Army knife.

Assembly Language
You crash the OS and overwrite the root disk. The system administrator arrives and shoots you in the foot. After a moment of contemplation, the administrator shoots himself in the foot and then hops around the room rabidly shooting at everyone in sight.
 

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RAFKILL(6)							   Games Manual 							RAFKILL(6)

NAME
Rafkill - a vertical shoot'em-up SYNOPSIS
rafkill [ -l ] [ -w ] [ -g<speed> ] [ -h ] DESCRIPTION
Rafkill is a clone of Raptor: Call of the Shadows, a classic shoot'em-up game. You have a bird's eye view of the playing field, which is an alien world, and your job is to destroy the enemies that are flying towards you shooting bullets. The score lets you buy life, shield, better weapons or even new spaceships. Killing enemies gives you money, or score. If you kill a group of enemies, you might get a handy coin which gives you more score. There are other powerups, so look for them too. The score lets you buy more weapons and hull parts. There are 5 weapon groups and a few weapons in each group, but you can only have one weapon per group except for the accessory weapons in which you can have up to 3 weapons. Once you buy 3, you cannot buy any more. There are 3 hulls, which have each higher life and shield than the previous one and gives you access to a new set of weapons. Buying a new hull does not throw away your weapons, but it does throw away your accessory weapons. OPTIONS
-l run the game without displaying the background -w run the game in windowed mode instead of full screen -g<speed> run the game at a different speed (default is 40) -h, -help, --help display help message and exit KEYS
Left, Right, Up, Down move the ship across the screen Space or Enter fire the main weapon Alt switch between alternate weapons Esc return to the game menu AUTHOR
Rafkill was written by Jon Rafkind <workmin@ccs.neu.edu>. This manual page was written by Sam Hocevar <sam@zoy.org>, for the Debian GNU/Linux system (but may be used by others). 24 April 2003 RAFKILL(6)
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