Here is a helpful website
How To Send Email to SMS (Text) | Digital Trends
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A more inclusive list
The Complete List Of Text Messaging Email Addresses | EmailTextMessages.com
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After a little research and testing I found out the following:
There is no reliable way to determine the carrier from the phone number for free. Lookup services charge about 10US per 1000 lookups.
If you create the original (mms) email using sendmail instead of mail, you can fake the "from" and "replyto" email addresses so that the recipient of the text can send a text reply directly to the phone of the mail originator.