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No I don't understand the difference between -all and ~all.
It was Mircosoft who said I needed to set up the spf in the first place because the site isn't blacklisted at all, but still isn't going through to Hotmail addresses.
I think that it was the host who set up the DNS in the first place, but they said they don't give any help for SPF records and that I had to set it up myself
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